GRIZNAK THE FENCE
Proprietor — Glittering Prizes Emporium
Griznak has been in the ethical acquisitions business for over forty years,
serving discerning clientele across six kingdoms, two occupied provinces, and one
technically-still-disputed fortress. He began his career as a small-scale redistributor of
battlefield surplus and has since grown into one of the most respected fine jewellery
specialists east of the burning steppes.
A graduate of the Kezan School of Commerce (expelled for over-achievement in the
procurement elective), Griznak developed his legendary eye for quality under difficult conditions,
primarily torchlight, and occasionally while running.
He served as a proud apprentice to the legendary Gazlowe, until a disagreement over
inventory sourcing methods ended the arrangement abruptly. Griznak maintains there were no hard
feelings. Gazlowe has never publicly commented, as he has been unreachable since the incident.
In his four decades of service, Griznak has never been convicted of anything.
Twice.
"One man's treasure is another man's… well, still treasure.
But now it's my treasure.
And for the right price, it can become yours.
This is what economists call 'efficient allocation of resources.'"
— GRIZNAK THE FENCE, INTERVIEW WITH ORGRIMMAR BUSINESS QUARTERLY
Griznak is fluent in Common, Orcish, and
Intimidation. He is conversationally proficient in Goblin Trade Tongue,
and claims to understand Draconic, though he admits most of his dragon interactions have
been brief and largely one-sided.
He currently resides above the shop, which he describes as having
"excellent security features, several of which are intentional." He is unmarried,
though a wanted poster in three jurisdictions lists a
companion named "The Lady Screech" whose relationship to Griznak remains unclear.
In his spare time, Griznak enjoys appraising things that do not belong to him,
cataloguing the Alliance's annual treasury reports (which he refers to as "shopping lists"),
and maintaining a collection of very plausibly obtained gemstones
whose combined insurance value significantly exceeds his declared net worth.
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Professional Credentials
◆
🎓
Certified Gemstone Appraiser
Self-certified, Year of the Serpent. Recognised by Griznak personally, who notes the standards are "quite high, actually."
📄
Licensed Fence Operator
Orgrimmar Chamber of Commerce. License #4471-B. Currently under review. Status: Fine.
🏆
Best New Business Award
Horde Quarterly, Year of the Serpent. Nominated by Griznak. Voted on by Griznak. Results audited by Griznak.
⚒
Zero Customer Complaints
The complaints department was relocated to the bottom of the sea in Year 3. No complaints have been received since. Outstanding record.
👑
Member, Ethical Traders Guild
Founding member. Also the only member. The charter specifically defines "ethical" in a way Griznak describes as "flexible, yet ironclad."
💎
Diamond Provenance Specialist
Completed a weekend intensive in gemology. Certificate currently being laminated. Has been laminating for six years.
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Testimonials from Satisfied Customers
◆
★★★★★
"
I thought my grandmother's necklace was lost forever after the siege.
Turns out Griznak had it all along. He called it a coincidence. I am choosing
to believe him. Very convenient. Beautiful piece. Five stars.
— ANONYMOUS ALLIANCE NOBLE, NORTHERN PROVINCES
★★★★★
"
He sold me my own sword back. At a fair price. I was angry at first,
then I realised the price was genuinely fair, and the blade was cleaner than
when I'd lost it. Professional service. Would reluctantly recommend.
— SGT. BLACKWOOD, STORMWIND CITY GUARD (RETIRED)
★★★★★
"
Surprisingly honest for a goblin. He told me the ring was stolen before I bought it.
I appreciated the transparency. Most vendors don't disclose that. The ring is beautiful.
I wear it every day. I don't ask questions.
— ELENA V., DALARAN ARCANE UNIVERSITY
★★★★★
"
The only merchant I've ever met who provides a certificate of
"ethical acquisition" with every purchase. Is the certificate real?
Unclear. Does it make me feel better? Absolutely. I've bought three pieces.
— TRADE PRINCE PLACEHOLDER, BILGEWATER CARTEL
★★★★★
"
Asked him if the stones were conflict-free. He said, and I quote,
"The conflict is completely over now." I chose to interpret that charitably.
The moissanite is stunning. My partner wept.
— R. LIGHTFORGE, IRONFORGE
★★★★★
"
I came in for a bracelet. I left with a bracelet, a very firm handshake,
and the distinct feeling I had just done something slightly illegal
but very glamorous. Griznak is a professional. Best in the business.
— LADY MOORWHISPER, UNDERCITY SOCIAL REGISTRY
THE EMPORIUM IS ALWAYS OPEN
Hours of Operation
Always open.
Griznak does not sleep. He waits.
Location
Turn left at the pile of skulls.
Right at the burning wagon.
You can't miss it. The skull pile is recent.
How to Contact
Yell loudly. He'll hear you.
He hears everything. He's always heard everything.
Mailing Address
P.O. Box [REDACTED]
Orgrimmar, The Horde
Do not send anything valuable. It will become merchandise.
Emergency Contact
Do not contact in emergencies.
Griznak is the emergency.
Returns & Complaints
All sales final.
Complaints dept. closed permanently. See credentials.
TRUST GRIZNAK
Forty years. Zero convictions. Excellent moissanite.
When you need jewellery that was definitely not taken from anyone who still needs it,
Griznak is your goblin.
⚔ BROWSE THE SPOILS ⚔